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Be Their Advocate

30/8/2012

I just heard a sad story from a young mum that was concerned for her little girl. She knew something was not right and kept going back to the doctors. They just felt she was paranoid. However, her little girl was rushed into hospital and they finally have some answers, a diagnosis that can save their daughters life. As she says, call it mother’s intuition.

Knowing your child is a parent’s responsibility. Whatever the case, whether it means fighting for their education or their health you need to be the one that steps up and fights for your child. You may look at your child's results at school and know that something is not right. Or you may be looking at your child and be thinking they are not eating, what's wrong? You need to be their barometer. Watch for the changes and take note if something shifts.

Your child is not the one that will be able to fight for their life. You will be the one! Do everything in your power to help them. If you need a second opinion get it. If they need a tutor get one. If you need to change schools then do it. When you need help pray.

Our youngest said that school was "the thing you had to do after the weekend". She never complained and we did not encourage complaining. We just knew the situation she was in was not working for her and we were concerned. We decided to take her out of the system and home school her. It was the best decision we made for her. She went back into mainstream school after a few years and excelled, was the head girl of the school and went on to complete university. We know if we had not listened to our hearts she would not have accomplished all she did.

Listen to your children and listen to your heart. This is a precious life that has been entrusted to you. You are the one that needs to be their advocate. When your child's life is in the balance it may not be the easiest path for you but who ever said parenting would be easy! The good news is that it is rewarding!
(image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

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Boring!!

23/8/2012

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Did you know that there is actually a place called Boring? It's in Oregon, USA. Go ahead, look it up. However, boring is not a word I like at all coming from the lips of children. The word boring implies feelings of listlessness and discontent. It means your situation is dull and uninteresting and that is not a place I wanted my children to live.

If our children ever said the word "boring" I would inform them that if they didn't have something to do I had a bucket and a mop so they could clean the floors! Funny thing I never had any takers on the mopping. It is interesting how when a suggestion of something that truly is dull and uninteresting comes up the imagination kicks in and they find all kinds of interesting things to amuse them.

Far too often parents have to take their children to somewhere so the kids can enjoy themselves. To a degree, parents destroy their children's imaginations by constantly feeling the pressure to amuse their kids. I am not saying that it isn't important to play with your children because it is. However, they also need to learn to discover, invent, create, imagine and read all on their own.

It is amazing how children in counties that have very little are content and happy. They do not look the least bit bored. In fact, give them a ball and they can play for hours. When we were in South Africa, a few of the children had made a city out of the pieces of cardboard and things they had picked up that were laying around. Genius! How much more can our children do with all the abundance they have at their finger tips.

Bored is not a word to encourage. Don't allow your children to be discontent and listless. If that is the way they feel then it's time to unplug the computer and turn off the TV. They have become spectators instead of participating in life.

(image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

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Making the Tough Call

15/8/2012

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As I watched the Olympics unfolding I was struck by an interview with the taekwondo bronze medal winner Lutalo Muhammad. He confessed that he was not all that happy about all the work that he had to put in to obtain his level of skill. He said his father would say no to the requests to go out with his peers to party or to hang. Instead he was at the gym working on his skill. However, now that he had the opportunity to be in the Olympics and win a medal he was grateful to his parents for keeping him on track.

As a parent you won’t always be popular for making decisions that please your children. That is not your place. Loving your children will mean you make decisions for them and with them. You are a guide and coach. As your children grow up there will be times when you should ask them what do they think they should do. Then there will be times when the decision is yours alone. You may have to go against all the other voices that are coming at you because you know what is best for your child.

When you see a gift or a talent in your child, do what you can to encourage their development in that particular area. It may not be something you would choose but it maybe in their destiny to be great at it. For example, you may love opera music and your child may want to play the guitar. You may prefer rugby but your child may like football. Let them do what they show interest in, give them lessons, take them to practice, and be the encourager that they need. When our children were young we gave them all music lessons. One of our daughters couldn't go past a piano without playing. She had desire and a God given talent. She loved playing and she flowed in the gift. The other daughter didn't enjoy it. Eventually the piano teacher said, ‘you might as well burn the money you are paying me for all the good it is doing’. This was not a problem to us, as we knew there would be something she would enjoy and flow in.

However, there are times when persistence is paramount. This is the moment you step in and be the guide. Some things in life are not always enjoyable but simply take work. Their schooling is one. There is always going to be homework and assignments to complete. If they want something like this young man did, then you may have to step in and be the one that says, ‘no, you may not go’. There are times when your children need you to be the one they can blame so they can keep face with their peers. Don't be afraid to say no and direct the paths of your children. They are looking for it and eventually they will be grateful!
(image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

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Be Their Advocate

Boring!!

Making the Tough Call

Bonnie Inkster

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