Narcissism on the other hand is about self-love and the unusual love of one’s body. I remember being pregnant with our twins who were our first children and asking Jim if I had stretch marks. Who was I trying to kid? I went forty weeks with them and I was so big! A little boy on the street watched me waddle by, then got up and ran down the street to watch me pass by again. Eyes like saucers he said, ‘Boy, are you fat!’
Before long two beautiful babies were on the scene and I had no time to think about me or my desires and my wants. For the majority of mums our thoughts are not on what’s in this for me. Being a parent is an opportunity with responsibility. We need to nurture, teach, direct and guide our children.
Sandra Parsons of the Daily Mail wrote an interesting article on “Why a Mum Should Never Be Her Daughter’s Best Friend”, (July 27, 2011). In the article she states that new research from the United States found that women in their 40s are desperate to stay looking young. They are concerned about their own self-esteem thus projecting that concern onto their daughters while finding it difficult to say ‘no’ to the desires of the child. The problem is little girls are being sucked into the whole realm of sexualization by their mothers and their mothers don’t see it.
Our own problems, fears, and anxieties can so often hinder what we do today. I agree with Sandra Parsons. When your children are growing up, you need to be the responsible adult that says ‘no’ or the mother that says you can cry on my shoulder and I will be there for you. That’s what being a mom is all about!