First, there will be times when your children, just like you get frustrated or hurt. Children are very perceptive and very much in touch with their feelings. When they are disappointed, annoyed or hurt they need to learn to deal with emotions in a correct manner. I am not talking about them stuffing what they feel but learning to speak about what has transpired and what is on their minds. The big issue for you as a parent is a listening ear. When a child is troubled it means you need to muster the emotional strength to hear what they are saying. They may need to bring something into the light that they have been hiding from or are ashamed of. The most important thing you can do is ‘listen’, not jump in with solutions.
If need be, you may have to bring them to a place of forgiveness. This is a major key to keeping children from becoming bitter. They may need to forgive a friend, a teacher, a sibling or you. It is better they operate easily in forgiveness because without it bitterness settles in their heart and it will defile their character.
However, there is the issue of them speaking rudely or in haughty, sharp tones to you. When a child speaks rudely, they are dishonouring. If they continue to speak rudely to you they will to other adults and peers as well. Don’t allow your child to speak to you in a dishonouring manner. You don’t need to shout at them, a gentle answer turns away wrath. I would say, ‘I beg your pardon’ and then explain that what they said or the way they said it was inappropriate. Then have them apologise to you for being rude or dishonouring. Your response to them is, ‘I forgive you. Would you like to try that again?’
Children need to be made aware of what is acceptable behaviour. In doing so, you are training them. Do not be afraid to correct your children’s speech and attitudes. It will teach them to how to honour and give respect.