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Who’s The Teacher?

13/1/2014

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Consciously or unconsciously there is a very strong tendency to defer to the one seen as in authority.  We defer to ministers, to teachers, to lawyers, to doctors, government officials and to officers of the law.  Without thinking about it we feel safe letting these people make decisions that affect our lives.  Often their decisions are not in our best interest.  Their perspective may be completely limited due to time constraints or lack of interest or simply a need for expediency as they have so many more to deal with.  (I am not advocating anarchy, i.e., everyone doing what is right in his or her own eyes.)  I am saying we need to maintain a sense of responsibility.

Our children often can’t wait to go to school.  As parents it can be a wonderful, emotive time.  The fact that they are growing up and becoming such independent little people makes us proud.  But there’s also the trauma of letting them go because they’re so small and loveable.  We entrust them to the school and to their trained teachers.  We think these people know what’s best for our children and will teach them far better than we can.  So we trust. 

That trust can be a problem.  It allows a chasm to occur between our children and us.  The world of education can overwhelm us and so we feel inadequate to ask them questions about their day, what they learned, how they felt about things.  We become outsiders to our children regarding their education.  This feeling can be even more exasperated by parent – teacher interviews where the teacher may inadvertently resort to using their educational vocabulary which leaves us completely confused and feeling even more disempowered. 

We end up with children who say they did nothing at school when asked what they did during the day.  They answer fine when we ask how was school.  Essentially blanking us. 

We need to push past this for the sake of our child and their teachers.  To do so we need to recognise that we are our child’s first and most primary teacher.  We taught them to walk, to talk, to behave, to have manners, to be nice, to share and often some of their numbers and alphabet.  We are not incompetent.  After the school year is over we will still be their primary teacher while next year they will have a new one. 

Bonnie and I are trained teachers.  When we had our first children, the twins, we taught them to count to 20, to recognise numbers and letters.  At 4 Joel was ready to read.  He was tracing letters with his finger asking us what it was and what the word said.  We were unsure of teaching him to read for primary school (grades 1 to 3) had not been our area of expertise.  The nursery school teacher said not to worry that the kindergarten teacher would teach him to read starting in September.  Our mistake!  She didn’t teach him anything, seriously!   

We were so mad at the end of the year for not teaching him ourselves.  His interest in learning to read disappeared (for there are windows of readiness for learning in a child’s life that don’t stay open for ever).  Bonnie taught both of the twins to read at home the next year.  Becky was now ready and took to it easily.  Joel had lost interest and it was much harder to teach him.  In fact he struggled with reading until he was 9 when once again he took off.

If we stay involved in our children’s education, they will benefit hugely.  The teachers will also find it helpful, as your child will probably be more eager to learn.  Your assistance and awareness can smooth learning difficulties and social problems.  If there is a problem, you are on top of it at the beginning not after it is deeply entrenched and more difficult to correct.

We, the parents, are our children’s teachers.  Authorities are not our adversaries but are there to assist us as we live up to our responsibility.  We are the cake and the teachers and other authorities supply the icing.


(image courtesy of rakratchada torsap/FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

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    Jim Inkster

    Hi guys, this is where we do the talking!

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